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|  | Currently Watching
To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything Julie
By Wesley Snipes, Patrick Swayze, John Leguizamo, Stockard Channing, Blythe Danner, Arliss Howard, Jason London, Chris Penn, Melinda Dillon, Beth Grant, Alice Drummond, Marceline Hugot, Jennifer Milmore, Jamie Harrold, Mike Hodge, Michael Vartan, RuPaul, Julie Newmar, Joel Story, Abie Hope Hyatt
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I leave for college tomorrow.
Hn. | | |
| I work nites at Taco Bell now, full-time.
I have an appointment with a therapist on Thursday.
And...uhm...I made that 27 on my ACT which means I have a scholarship now and do not have to freak out about money for college. This is a boon.
That is all. | | |
| | Currently Listening
Gozen
By Kagrra
Ayashi no Hikari, Yami ni Chirikeri, etc.
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I don't normally spill much about myself in here. To know me online is really to read my livejournal. But I have so many people on my livejournal who would thrash me about this (in a good way), and I don't feel like dealing with that right now. I *do* feel like writing it out, though, and if anyone on my xanga wants to read it, they can. Otherwise, this is just for myself.
I might be going to Japan next May, so I've been listening to J-rock, as we planned to see three concerts. That's up in the air now, but it's still a possibility. I worked at Burger King for two weeks before I quit because I was tired of being treated like a dog. Then I got hired at Food World, and I've only been there a little over a week. I missed work yesterday and today, so I don't know if they want me back or not.
So I've been pretty much down since sometime before April. I don't know what happened on New York, but it drove me out of my skin, and I've made my mother cry so much in the past few days that I feel like a terrible person. Anyway. I started cutting myself again just after graduation. And about two weeks ago, I seriously cut myself badly on my left arm. The marks are still there, and I'm not sure if they're going to heal or not. It took my parents a week and a half to notice them. Saturday we had a huge, terrible fight. And Sunday all I could think about was the razor I kept in my little box. So after my grandparents left from Father's Day dinner I told my parents that my stomach hurt and I was going to be in the bathroom for a bit. Of course, I was too yellow to make the two extreme cuts I had planned on all day, so I made twenty-three semi-deep ones that bled for quite some time into the sink (I always cut myself in my room) before my father came to the door. They freaked out and said stuf about "HRS" and that I couldn't go to college and blahblahblah. Today we went to Dr. Tidwell. He said that I have a serious case of severe depression. This I already knew. But the thing was, severe depression can carry on for over a year or so if left untreated. And my parents weren't going to do anything about it, so I figured I'd make them understand or die trying. Dr. Tidwell put me on some medication and recommended a talk therapist in town. So I hope I'll stop feeling this way soon and that I can still go to college, because I very much want to be excited about life. But I just can't right now.
So maybe you guys could pray for me? | | |
| This is just for you, my citizen compadre.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiIboq6XCOg
Enjoy your Vines. :* | | |
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